Awkward Family Photos

After going on the awkward family photos website I encountered a picture that caught my attention. In the photograph there are four family members. Two grandparents and what appears to be their two grandchildren holding a revolver and an automatic weapon. What mainly draw my attention to the picture is the fact that the family as a whole looks very happy, however when focusing on the grandchildren holding the guns there is a kind of creepy aspect to it all. The little girl, who is holding the revolver has an extremely creepy face and the boy next to her who is holding the automatic weapon seems to be a cold blooded killer simply by the way in which he looks in the picture, with such a vague and empty look on his face. The picture in general has a very creepy look to it, but on the other hand it also has a comical aspect to it, simply because f the way that picture is set up and portrayed.

Draft Analysis

There are several strategies that I am using in order to draw the readers attention in my introduction. First of all, I am trying to simply have a good hook at the beginning of my paper so that I can easily capture the readers attention. Aside from this, I am also, editing my paper so that more profound vocabulary can be used in order to give the paper a more professional appearance and style.
The strategies that I am using to wrap up my paper in my conclusion is to simply, review my paper, and come up with a final statement, something that can give my paper that final spark that it needs to finish it off perfectly. Also, I am planning to state a condensed version of my argument once more in the conclusion.

This is a picture of the piece that two close friends of mine from back in Miami did at Art Basel a few years ago, I have been attending Art Basel for the past three years.

Peer Review Feedback

In general, the peer review that I completed in class today went well. At first, we began by reading thoroughly through each others papers Then after that, we dedicated a fairly large part of the class, editing each others papers, and fixing any minor mistakes that were done. Then, as the final step, we went through our essays, and we reflected on each others papers, to ensure that we would have an even better paper for the next occasion.
Up to now, I personally believe that I am doing well in the process of attaining a good final draft. However, there are some areas of my draft that definitely need some editing in the context and perhaps elaborate a little more on certain topics in my paper, so that my paper isn't too broad.

Changes to my paper

One area of my paper that definitely needs changes and that needs to be improved is the area of my paper that states some of the basic information in my paper. I have noticed in my past drafts that I have seemed repetitive, however this is something that I have been regularly improving in my writing. Another way that I guess I could improve my writing is by perhaps including more ideas to elaborate on.

Workshop Review

In general the workshop went very well. We were able to successfully comment on the draft's that we came up with and we gave each other good, constructive feedback. From the workshop I was able to better understand the mistakes that I did and I was able to better adjust my first draft to the specifications of the of the prompt. My other group members also had to complete some drafting, because now that we have openly talked about our ideas, more ideas came about. The next step that I want to take in the drafting of my writing is to reorganize the ideas and to elaborate more and make the ideas more clear and concise for the reader.